Sunday 7 September 2008

MIXED FEELING


Have been thinking alot of things lately. It will be the last week to stay in Msia if my visa is approved. I am afraid to leave my home :( I dunno why so many ppl know i am leaving to UK soon. I actually didn't plan to tell others like relatives and all.. cause

1. i still want my ang paos during CNY cause i wont be at home for this CNY sobs.

2. I don't like ppl keep asking me when am i leaving and telling me studying in UK is NOT CHEAP ( cause i know it's not cheap LOL)

3. I don't like they spread the news to those unknown and now it seems like everyone knows i am leaving to UK. ( i better make things clear to avoid misunderstanding caused. my unknown is refers to those uncles aunties or relatives who are not close with me not you readers or my friends)

My lovely grandmother is worried.


She kept asking me whether i am going alone and when i said no, i have friends there and some of my friends will be at the same flight with me.. she is relieved :) she thinks 15th is too soon. Luckily i still manage to celebrate my father's birthday and mooncake festival with my family and her.

* father's birthday = mid autumn festival*


arr i don't want to leave ahh. no car there, no mommy's cook. I have to be real independant this time. Imagine this girl cried so much during NS and hugged and cried together with the grandmother when they both saw each other after a few months.. how silly LOL it sounds like i will be doing the same thing at the airport. SHYYYTTT.. i cannot hold my tears wan rrrr cause

I am well knowned as A CRY BABY since i am born T.T

cried secretly when i watch pitiful scene in drama,movie, when i hear pitiful stories, when i see pitiful doggies.

BIG SIGH .. i wish i am tougher !!!!


on the other hand, i am quite excited actually. Can study abroad is a totally new experience and since my bf is there things will be alirght la atleast, right Andrew hahaha..

atleast if i miss home, he will be there la, lend me his shoulder and let me to cry until his shirt is all wet * i mean atleast i have someone to rely on*

Parents are still worried. But, it's time to learn to be an independent girl la. Solve everything all by myself.. make my own decisions and all.

YES I HAVE FAITH IN MYSELF. I CAN DO IT

sweatness



Anyways, I know i am well blessed. I have a new car when i 1st got my driving licence and it's not cheap. I have the best education, the best-est family. I am gratitude for everything they have done for me. My family is a typical chinese family, we don't say i love you to each other cause we think it's funny. That's why i normally keep all my feelings inside my heart. I appreciate but i don't show it most of the time.

to the family members * i know my bro will definitely read my bloggie * Don worry bout me!

I've promised myself to work hard and smart to obtain good result, ensure the money is well-spent !


well.. i am still feeling reluctant to leave after all hahaha..



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